THE TILTED ROOM

Lord Haw Haw, real name, William Joyce, was a British citizen who, during world war 2 defected to Germany and worked for the Nazi’s against the British people by broadcasting on Hamburg radio’s nightly broadcasts of “Germany Calling”.
He used an exaggerated English aristocratic accent to broadcast lies and half- truths designed to unnerve the British people, as well as to try and confuse them and lower their morale.

All of us, to a greater or lesser extent, have our own Lord Haw Haw.

We hear the voices of those who should have been allies in our lives but who, instead, spoke words daily that unnerved us and lowered our self-belief.

We no longer hear them as loudly as on the day they were said, or hear the voices that originally spoke the words.
Most of the time we are hardly aware of them.
It’s a dull muttering like a radio left on in the background.
Its known in the trade as “self-talk”, or “inner dialogue” and everyone experiences it.

Some have been luckier than others and have had far more encouraging and nurturing words spoken to them than unnerving, undermining ones. So they’re self-talk is more positive than negative.
But those of us who have heard Lord Haw Haw daily will have a negative broadcast playing in our heads that effects our thinking and behaviour.
That’s because our “inner dialogue” is closely linked to the “BOTTOM LINE” that I talk about in an earlier post. Our “inner dialogue” reflects the fundamental beliefs we hold about ourselves. It’s the chatter in our heads resulting from the opinions that others have stated about us and that we have believed to be true.
There are times when the volume increases on our inner dialogue – its when we attempt to move out of our comfort zone – that safe little circle we have chalked around ourselves, the limits in which we choose to live based on our self-belief or lack of it.

For instance –
A woman on her way to an interview for a job she really wants will hear:-

“Oh God, there will be others there far more qualified than I am.”
“What am I doing? I’m not good enough for this job”
“They will see through me straight away”
“I should just stay a secretary, that’s what I’m good at.”

Sound familiar?

or

you receive an invitation to your 15 year school reunion – your self-talk will be loud then:-

“I can’t go, everyone will have done so much more with their lives than me.”
“I’ve put on weight, people will judge me.”
“no one will want to talk to me”
“I will feel awkward – it will be awful.”

There are a million other examples I could give –
But you get the point.

So how do we silence Lord Haw Haw?
How do we turn the radio off?
Or change the station we are listening to?

The first thing to do is to keep a notebook and pen handy and jot down your self-talk when you become aware of it. Over time this will give you insight into the kind of distorted perspectives you have carried from your early years into adulthood.
Also keep note of the kind of behaviours that your self-talk tries to talk you out of doing.

For instance:-

Going to parties/activities that you are invited to.
Doing higher education classes or going for promotion.
Approaching a girl/boy you like and asking them out for coffee.
Trying something different in your life – an activity or interest.

By gaining this insight it will help clarify what kind of thinking clouds your judgement of yourself and of the world, and prevents you from living an authentic, free life.
The kind of life you really want to live.

In my next post I will show you a list of several kinds of distorted perspectives and you will be able to see which of these fits your self-talk.
I will then show you practical techniques you can use, not only to identify your distorted thinking patterns in certain life scenarios, but to gain a more rational perspective in the areas where your self-talk clouds your vision. These will enable you to begin to minimise your negative self-talk.

In other words it will help you to begin –

SILENCING LORD HAW HAW

After all, lets not forget that he was hanged for treason in 1946.