OUR INNER CRITIC IS A LIAR
her heart out.
in a west end show.
a standing ovation
the filled auditorium.
The morning papers
The whole cast
has stayed up
to read what
have to say.
open the papers
As she reads
nine out of ten
state she was
brought the role to life
and made it her own.”
lacked the lustre
the role required.”
SHE IS DEVASTATED.
how much the others
that nine out of ten
and tell her to
pay no heed
to the idiot
all she can think about
WHY DO WE DO THAT? ALL OF US DO IT!
There is something in each of us, for some reason, that more readily believes the negative thoughts that come at us and fill our heads than the positive ones that get spoken as well.
It’s because we tend to already have distorted perspectives about ourselves and we cherry pick the thoughts that most easily fit in with them.
The negative thoughts are easier for us to believe!!!
BUT MOST NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE LIARS.
Even though we are convinced that they are valid most of the negative thoughts that make us feel bad are:-
DISTORTED AND UNREALISTIC
They are the blah, blah, blah that fill our heads automatically from what we have been conditioned to believe about ourselves.
For those of you who have begun to write down some of your negative self-talk as you have become aware of it– here are some of the distorted thinking patterns they will fit into. See if you recognise any of these in your negative thoughts.
This is when we take something and blow it all out of proportion.
We make it bigger in our minds that it should be and then usually use the
thought to hammer ourselves with.
“I forgot to invite Emily to my daughters birthday party – OH NO – now her mother will think I’m horrible and won’t speak to me in the playground when I pick the kids up. OH God I bet she’ll even turn the other mums against me. I will have to get someone else to pick up the kids – I cant show my there face again. How could I have done that I’M SO STUPID, SO THOUGHTLESS, SO USELESS.”
This is when we assume we know what others are thinking.
“I can’t go to my husband’s work “DO” because I know that all the other wives look down on me. I know they don’t think I’m good enough for Mike.”
This is when no matter how well something might be going WE will filter out the positive things and see only the negative.
“was’nt that a great evening. The food was delicious and the music was great.”
“yes darling but why did it have to be outside? It gets so cold in the evenings this time of year, and did you notice that neither Rose nor Mary spoke more than two words to me the whole evening.”
BLACK AND WHITE THINKING
This is when we take everything to the extreme. It tends to make us hard on ourselves and come to some harsh assumptions.
“I am ALWAYS the one who ends up washing coffee cups after church. NO ONE EVER helps out. I am FOREVER taken for granted. I am NEVER appreciated.”
BIAS AGAINST YOURSELF
This is when we fail to see the good in ourselves, even when others do, and we focus instead on the negative.
“Thanks for coming shopping with me and helping me choose an outfit for the wedding. You have a really good eye for colours and what things go together well.”
“Don’t be silly, no I don’t, I just know what you like”
These are just a few of the negative thinking patterns that hinder our enjoyment of life.
Now that we are becoming more aware of what they are we will look at how we can challenge them and exchange them for more rational and positive thinking.
Do you recognise any of them in your own thinking?
How have they prevented you from enjoying life more?